I Met A Man

I believe one has to live what one teaches. Anything less is to be a hypocrite. In my life's journey, I have met many people claiming to hold "the Truth" but few who lived what they preached. I know many spiritual people who are not religious and many others who are religious but not spiritual. The two are not synonymous nor are they mutually exclusive. I know something about both, having once studied to become a Roman Catholic priest and, at another time, a Buddhist monk. During the time I lived in Saudi Arabia, I studied the Koran. What is true? Not words, but actions. A little story for you . . .

Years ago I was conducting a two-month program in Transformational Thinking (TT) at a large printing and publication company in Miami, Florida. I was also training a young man, a self-proclaimed "reborn again Christian: to become a teacher of TT. He showed a lot of promise. He was an eager and voracious learner and talked a good game but the telling moment occurred one afternoon during a break between sessions. It was a rough neighborhood with more barbed wire than I ever saw in Viet Nam!

I had stepped out on the loading dock to have a cigarette (Yeah, I know!) He joined me. As we were standing there discussing the previous session and planning the next, an elderly African American man approached pushing a shopping cart filled with aluminum cans. He headed straight for the dumpsters and proceeded to filter through the trash within. One man's garbage is another man's treasure. As I watched him, our eyes met and I offered him a cigarette and he accepted. That cigarette served as an opening between two human spirits. We began to talk.

My young (white) trainee silently retreated and disappeared back into the building. I didn't even notice he was gone. I was totally mesmerized by this man's face and his eyes. His face was a map that revealed a long and hard journey. His eyes revealed a soul that was alive and glowing with energy and life. There was something majestic and magical in his bearing. He was happy. He was fulfilled. He "knew" where it was at and I wanted to learn what he knew. What was his secret?

I learned his name was "Old John". During our conversation, he shared that he was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. He had done bad crimes, served hard time and paid his dues. I didn't ask what he had done. It no longer mattered. The man with whom I had connected was not capable of doing such things. He had changed. I knew I didn't have a lot of time so I asked him directly what had changed his life? I expected to hear an answer like, "I found Jesus," but that is not what came.

Instead, he said simply, "I am a free man. I don't owe anyone anything. I have my own place. I pay my own way with these here cans. I perform a service to my community by keeping it clean. I am a happy man and so grateful for each and every day."

Wow! My mind was racing, as was my heart. Here was the truth! Here was a man who was fulfilled, who knew the difference between what he wanted and what he needed to be happy! How many of us can claim that, much less live it? Standing before me in this rundown neighborhood was a real teacher of truth. I was totally blown away!

This man had a dignity befitting the Buddha. He had the humility of Christ and the wisdom of Mohamed. He was a saint in tattered clothing. He was an idol to be appreciated and revered. I felt so "less than"! It was a momentous lesson in humility.

Later, I went back inside and continued teaching, refreshed, invigorated and inspired by my meeting with Old John. I was on fire with passion, man! I had them amening from the aisles! I also asked my young colleague what had happened to him. Why did he disappear? His reply was yet another lesson.

"I saw that guy and felt threatened. I wanted to get away." What a lame excuse! Fear of the unknown. Yet, how many of us operate under the same misconception?

Old John taught me that we are all teachers and students. Everyone who enters my life does so with a lesson and it is my mission to discover why and what that message is. The Chinese say that, when the teacher ceases to learn, he is no longer qualified to teach. That afternoon, I let my trainee go. He had much to learn and was not yet ready to assume the responsibility for teaching others. You cannot teach something to someone who already thinks he knows it all.

A few years ago, I met another man in Hua Hin. All the locals considered him "crazy" but, over a few smokes, he opened up and taught me so much. He lived on the streets and we carried out conversations that lasted for weeks. Every day he would come around at the same time and we would sit there, squatting on the road and just talk. He wore more Buddha images around his neck than Mr. T had gold chains! I honestly don't know how he remained upright.

One day I asked him why he was so happy, always laughing, sometimes out loud, giving credence to the opinions of the locals. You know what his reply was? "I have found the secret!"

"What is the secret?" I wanted to know.

"The secret is that there is no secret!" He exclaimed. "It is all right here in front of us. This is it! You are the secret. I am the secret. All this (waving his arm wildly) is the secret. We are living the secret."

That gave me pause. Though our paths parted since, the intersection that took place in those moments were life-changing ones. I still think about him and about the life lessons he possessed and was more than willing to share with anyone willing to listen.

The other day, I went for a walk here in Phuket, Thailand and came upon an old Thai man sitting on a piece of cardboard. He had a plastic cup in front of him that contained a few coins but was not overtly begging. He was just sitting ther is a state of absolute serenity. It was this presence that attracted my attention.

On a whim, I went to a nearby food stall and ordered two bowls of noodles and sat with him while we shared lunch. At first, he was so grateful and thanked me profusely and profiundly. we shared a couple of cigarettes. Then it got heavy. He told me he had lost everything in the Tsunami of 2004. He had lost his entie family. I was stunned and didn't know what to say.

He reached out and touched my arm saying, "Adjaan (teacher). I have spent many years searching for you and knew you would come to me today. You were my teacher in a previous life and I have longed to thank you before I die."

Talk about heavy! What could I say? It got even worse. He bent over and kissed my foot, the ultimate sign of respect in the Buddhist culture. I was so embarrassed! People were walking by and I was not ready for this! As far as I was concerned, I taught this man nothing and, in a single meeting, he taught me everything. It was I who should have been kissing his feet. I have not seen him since but he lives within my head and heart.

What do these stories teach us? Treat everyone who enters your reality as a teacher. They know and have experienced things you have not. Learn from them. Share what you know with others freely, for we are all students and teachers.

Whom have you met and learned from? Share your experiences with all of us so that we may learn.